“Is a vaccine a good thing or a bad thing?”
We’ve watched the evening national news regularly since March in an effort to learn alongside the rest of the country. Every now and then, we will get a question that makes us press mute and provide some clarification. We’ve tempered the fear with truth and the uncertainty with hugs and reassurance. For months we’ve been hearing about a vaccine and all of the questions that followed. When will it be ready? Who will get it first? Who SHOULD get it first?
December came with data. Evidence of efficacy and most important to all of us...safety. We learned about priority lists and that vaccinations would begin in our state on December 17, 2020 following FDA approval. Our dinner table is usually the setting for various topics to emerge. Sometimes we get full attention and participation and sometimes the only intention is to finish as quickly as possible to get back to things that take priority in the 9 and 12 year old mind. On December 17, I found out that I had been assigned to receive the first of 2 doses of the Pfizer vaccine on December 19. I shared with the family that I had been prioritized and would be among the first to receive it in our state. Immediately, our daughter pounced on what she sensed (appropriately) was uncertainty in my voice and asked, “Is a vaccine a good thing or a bad thing?” I responded that it was a good thing. I also shared that I was a little nervous.
I was nervous because although I have access to and understanding of the data that has come with the vaccine, I also come from a culture where mistrust is commonplace. Skepticism and fear have been passed through communities of color through generations like recipes, with good reason. There are countless examples in the history of the United States and modern medicine that are based on the exploitation of people of color. Experimentation on humans who were deemed to be less valuable occurred under the auspice of advancing the science. These acts were protected and supported by establishments for decades. Such egregious actions have led to current day oversight and laws preventing such atrocity from occurring again. Nevertheless the pain of our history plagues us currently and I am not immune to that pain.
Covid19 has reminded us of the fact that our actions as individuals have broad impact, both positive and negative. We all have influence, in our families, in our social circles and in our community. We decided to share these moments with our children so they will remember being part of a moment in history. They don’t yet understand the significance of their black physician parents being at the front of the line to be vaccinated in this pandemic. They do understand that we have to stay healthy so that we can take care of others who need us. As we strive for each generation to be better than the last, may the generational mistrust end with us.
